It is funny how conversations with people can have you asking yourself questions on an even deeper level when the conversation is over. Well this happens to me quite often where as I am either questioning myself or pondering the reasons for other people's actions.
We all know and can agree that it is human nature to either start a conversation or eventually turn a conversation into one about someone else. Right? - the boyfriend, the girlfriend, the coworker, the superstar etc. So, it was not too far from this statement that I was involved in a conversation in which another person was the topic of discussion. This talk was no different from many other talks that I had on occasions where as people feel like they are always playing the role of counselor, bank, advisor, minister, cheerleader, shoulder to cry on or whatever else you can think of mentioning.
But if you are not this person, have you ever asked yourself why? Have you ever asked yourself why you are not the person that people call to pick up from the airport? Have you ever asked why people don't share their most intimate secrets with you? Have you asked why you do not play some of the most important roles in people lives? You may consider it a blessing that you weren't asked to pick someone up from the airport or that you weren't called when someone was going through something. It may just be saying more about you than you think. You may not be as dependable as you believe you are in the eyes of others. You may show more that you dont care than you do. If you ask yourself these questions, maybe then you will understand why you are considered destructive to someone's team and not constructive.
Why am I not moving up at my job? Why don't they give me the important projects? These questions may be the just the answers that you need to reflect on your own life.
Instead of raising deflective questions, you should start asking reflective questions. Am I dependable? Am I punctual? Do I care? Do I work hard?
This post may not matter to some, but it should matter to all. We can't be everyone's everything for every moment. You shouldn't allow yourself to be taken advantage of, but take this moment to ask yourself, "what does it say about me" when people don't come to you.
Give me your thoughts.
I'd like to take this a step further and ask if there are people in our lives who take up space but we can't rely on them for support when needed, then what's the point of having them there? Is it time? The fact that we were childhood friends? A feeling of obligation for some reason? Not saying that the friendship,etc must end, but in my opinion we should realize the purpose people serve in our lives and at some point allow certain relationships to change and become a less signifant part of the people we are growing into...ReplyDelete