Why is a healthy mindset relevant?

Why is a healthy mindset relevant?

"I wanted to shoot people because that's what I saw growing up."

I read this quote in the USA Today given by young man from Camden, New Jersey - a city known for its high crime rate. The relevancy of a healthy mindset is directly pointed at such a statement as this because, in many instances, it is a reflection of the mentality of the people who are influenced by their social environment.

I am not saying that every person wants to shoot another person because of the environment they live in, but the effect of a person's environment is crucial to their develpoment. This effect is not limited to impoverished communities, however the affect that it has in such environments is disheartening.

In my book Mindset: Awareness and Action, I mentioned "the deprivation of hope is not only in the communities, schools, and families; but also in the eyes of the people." When there is no hope in the eyes of the people, how are we to expect hope for the future. This is why I spend my time (and encourage people to help in) preaching  the message of developing a healthy mindset.

When children from Camden haven't even been across the bridge to Philly, how are we to expect them to have a broad and healthy outlook on the world? When our youth's heroes are gang members, how are we to decrease the crime rate in violence-ridden communities?

A healthy mindset is relevant because I do not want anybody shooting me because that is what they saw growing up.

God Bless

When will it cease?

And I quote, "The problem with black people [nowadays] is that they want to continue to harp on the past. They complain about slavery as if it happened to them." I was told to just "get over it." I was told to get over something that I didn't even bring up. I was told to get over something because I corrected and explained to a young man the difference between saying "I will be a servant to you" and "I will be of service to you." I was told to just let the past be the past. But when a mother is inflicted with illness so is her unborn child. So, the illnesses that my foremothers and forefathers endured were all but passed down to me. Things can't just be swept under the rug because the lump of its presence is still visible.

Recently, Tiger Woods was publicly hit with his second "fried chicken" joke of his career and I contended with hearing people say that they didn't see anything wrong with it. But intent is eveything. I read an article about Blacks being suspended more than double the next demographical group. So again race is brought to the forefront. Instead, the focus should be so that no child is suspended and that everyone is receiving an adequate education.

But this is not about me being black and being sensitive to the plights that my people face. Instead, it is about the sensitivity to race in American society and the insensitivity to the experiences, cultures, and uniqueness of different races.

So the question stands, "When will the issue of race cease to be a dominating issue in America?" In many moments, I want to say soon, but realistically it may never occur. As long as we live in a society where we tolerate people instead of embracing people, race will continue to be a thorn in our side . As long as we continue to expect people to forget history instead of understanding their history, there will continue to be a divide.

If history is meant to serve as a learning lesson for future generations, then the past must not be forgotten but understood. The race issue is not about being politically correct in front of cameras and declaring that 'no one sees color" because in real life color is the reason. But instead of hiding from this fact or throwing a cover over the issue, we must first accept the fact that it drives our everyday lives. It is relevant in medicine, but it is taboo in society because it is a difficult and sensitive topic to discuss; but it is only difficult because the conversation comes from a place of guilt and anger instead of compassion and understanding.

Telling me to forget and get over it, is the reason why I won't forget and get over it. It is the reason why I look for understanding because we can't learn from the mistakes that are forgotten. There is no clean slate. However, there is a building process and before the process of getting over something can occur, there must be a concerted effort to build relationships with all ethnic backgrounds. Until then, race will always be a dominating issue in America.

God Bless

Laker Pride

I' ve been rolling with the Lakers since the 80s, from the time I watched my first game on 76th street in South Central Los Angeles to scoping 2013's epic playoff push from 2000 miles away in La Plata, MD. One thing that I know about Lakers' fans is that,though we seem to be a laid back group of people, we are die-hard, passionate, and believing aficionados.

This year, "dem boys" (as I call them) on paper were supposed to be a force to be wreckened with. However, the lineup of  Kobe, Dwight, Paul, Nash, and Peace didn't live up to the hype, from a dismal winless preseason to a seemingly washed down-the drain regular season. This season was drama filled from a chemistry standpoint and from injury proneness. For the finale, one of the game's best, went down and out for the season and "dem boys" were written off to not make the playoffs without their leader.

But Laker pride stepped in. We all stay strong by our team, and "dem boys" stayed strong by themselves. For the first time all year, I really thought to myself that "dem boys" really want to be there. And when you look at it, from the All-Star break they have played 17 over .500 ball.

Yeah, as fans we don't have nothing but our pride vested in the team that we grew up watching, crying, cheering, and fighting over but hey, that's what we all do. But the funny thing is the people who get a thrill Laker hating to fans who at the end of the season go on about their business because they know their hometown team is full of greatness, championships, hall of famers, and prestige to even wear the colors purple and yellow (the colors that people from where I'm from say ;) ). We don't have to put other teams down because it's just ain't no time for that.

But anyway I am proud of my team. I ain't gonna lie. I did a lot of mess talking through the t.v. for all of the BS but in the end, it's because pops got me doing it. Well, anyway, "dem boys" weren't suppose to make it but they did.  Now let's go get em!!! RIP Dr. Bus

GO LAKERS!!!! aka Dem Boys

Searching

The search for reasons, oftentimes, end up with no luck. I try to find meaning and purpose in the things that I do, only to be conflicted by the happenings of the world that is going on around me. Yesterday, three people died (including an eight year old), enjoying an event that is supposed to bring people together to celebrate; yet, cowards used this as an opportunity to destroy lives, community, and peace. Everyday there is a new threat, albeit of a nuclear attack, terrorism, or domestic windfall. Whatever the case may be, it leaves people with a sense of insecurity. Across the globe, there are countries in civic warfare, social upheaval, and financial instability. I even came across a photo of a man, whose head was either bashed in or shot, because of his political affiliation in Venezuela. This all makes me think, what am I fighting for? What am I hoping for? I pray that my dreams of a better world is not no more than a mere fantasy. I do not want to concede that my efforts to change the world will be in vain.

In my search for answers, I find myself taking advice from people who are searching for answers, when the only answer they can give me is "everything happens for a reason." Well, can someone please tell me the reason, because the purpose is waiting. So, then I look up above and I ask my questions realizing that my questions will be answered but my understanding will never comprehend.

So, I concluded that my answer is my conviction, and like Eli (The Book of Eli) I must  stay the course. My search will continue, but my actions will be reinforced by conviction. Well, maybe, I found my reason.

God Bless

Why My Whopper Tasted Bad

A few days ago, I was having one of the biggest cravings for a Whopper. The thought of a charbroiled patty topped with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, mayo and ketchup, between two slices of bread was all I wanted at that moment. Your thought may be "what is so special about a Whopper?" Nothing actually. But I am confident that everyone has had those moments of craving for a particular taste for something only for that time. Well, that was me.

 

So, I decided to go to the nearest Burger King anxious to sink my teeth into that burger, as I scarfed down fries and washed it away with a cold cup of Barq's rootbeer.

 

Well, my excitement to order my Whopper was not matched by the cashier's excitement to take my order. Instead, she proceeded to tell me how upset she was and how she didn't want to be up front because she wanted to stay in the back. She even mentioned telling the boss that she was quitting. The frustration and attitude showed on her face, and the quality of the customer service followed. Opening up to me at such an awkward moment was surprising and all I could muster up to say was "I understand" as I gave her a smile. Then, she proceeded to ask me about the book I was reading and at least for that brief moment I felt as if her day was brightened.

 

But the mood and atmosphere of the facility was set. When I received my meal, I proceeded to sit down and indulge into my previous craving. However, something was different and the feeling wasn't the same. As I began to eat, I realized that the food didn't taste as I envisioned. Now, the burger was fresh and hot, and the fries were straight out of the fryer but I realized that the taste of my burger was impacted by the aura of the restaurant. I encountered a bad mood, and in return my body and psyche adapted to it. I didn't look at my food the same way, and it definitely didn't have an aroma that was crave-worthy.

 

I truly believe that if the young lady's attitude was better, I would have truly enjoyed my meal. Instead, I left disappointed - more so from the turned down atmosphere that was presented.

 

Recognize that when we carry a bad vibe around us, it has a lasting impact on others similar to the stench of Pepe le Pew. When we live in negativity, it brings other people down.  It messes up their Whopper moment.

 

Lets be mindful of the aura we leave.

 

God Bless

 

Generation Entitled

I feel like an "old head" writing this piece, reminiscent of my parents and grandparents talking about the "good ol' days." We are all familiar, to some extent, about the stories that our elders share with us and the philosophies, personality traits, and actions of their times. Ranging from the Silent Generation to Baby Boomers to Generation X to present, there has been an interest in the characteristics that each has brought to the table throughout history.

Depending on the person categorizing the generations, I could fall into the generations of X, Y, or Millennial. But regardless of the classification, I notice that there is a dynamic shift in the way many people in today's generation think and act. Now, this is where the old soul in me comes out. Though I grew up through times when my parents probably shook their heads saying "there goes the neighborhood," I catch myself peering through the eyes of my elders saying the same thing.

Today, I believe we live in a generation where the concept of respect is lost, accountability is ignored, and responsibility is forgotten. I believe that there is this idea that floats around that anything goes, and that no one should feel obligated to say anything about it. I see people using milestone ages (18, 21) to assert their adulthood through an undisciplined way of thinking. I see children growing up with no sense of direction or urgency.

What I do notice is that we live in generation in which much is wanted but little is earned. I call this generation "Generation Entitled." This has nothing to do socioeconomically, but everything to do mentality wise. Similar to the Lord of the Flies, the same will happen if we allow society to be run by children or allow childlike thinking to run our society. We will end up living in a chaotic environment where it'll end up being too late to fix the problem.

I would rather see a "generation empowered", where people are standing for something more than self. I would rather see a "generation accounted for" where people are taking responsibility not only for their actions but for the progress of their communities. I hope and pray to see a "generation fulfilled" in which people are making the most of the time they are allotted on this earth to serve a specific purpose. But more than anything, I would like to see a "generation rise" where people would stand above all iniquities.

The challenge should be for all of to ask ourselves, "How do we want our generation to be defined?" Then we must take the lead.

God Bless

Who are you caddying?

On the golf course, we are familiar with the guy who follows the golfer and carries the golf bag. This person is called the caddie. Oftentimes, what people do not see is the caddie giving the golfer pertinent information about the course and facilitating advice about how to approach a shot. Instead, the only association with the caddie is him carrying a bag full of heavy equipment.

Have we thought to ask ourselves, “Who are we caddying?” The benefit of a professional caddie is that he is paid for his services and he and the golfer have a symbiotic relationship on the course. On the other hand, we serve as free caddies for people resulting in being the burden carriers for their lives. We allow people to cast their burdens upon us, leave their luggage on our doorsteps, and empty their baggage at our feet in which we are left to pick it up and carry it for them.

The next time you watch golf check out the golfer. Watch how freely he moves and how briskly he walks, and then watch the caddie and notice him hunched or leaning. That’s what happens to us when we carry other people’s burdens. How can we move and produce freely and effectively when our backs are hunched, our hands are full and our steps are staggering?

But what happens when we have to carry our own bags? It affects us the same. We must continue to practice the notion of “release.” We do not see Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Bubba Watson, or Ricky Fowler carrying their bags. They are free to swing.

When we carry burdens, we aren’t free to swing. When we carry burdens, we can’t stand upwards. When we carry burdens, we can’t lift our heads to see the sky; the only view we have is the ground.

Pick people up, don’t pick up their burdens.

 

God Bless